Equilibrium of Life
by Auraize
Summary: Life and Death are casual. Existence and Balance are difficult to apprehend. IchiRuki/ByakuHisa-Thanks RukiLex!
1. I: Falter to Exist

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach.**

**Warning:** **Foul language, violence, horror, supernatural. IchiRuki, ByakuHisa. AU. Dark.**

**Alright! So this is a Dark/Drama/Romance/Supernatural kind of fanfic...I just hope that this fanfic will strike your hearts until the end!!! Lots of IchiRuki and ByakuHisa. I am addicted to those pairings. Package may come with pinches of UlquiRuki (I'm hooked, currently, to this crack pairing, and I WORSHIP Ulquiorra Cifer, the EMOSPADA)**

**Rated "T" if you mind. This rating may go up, depending on the arcs of the story. I was inspired by a Bleach fanfic called "Irresistible" by a certain Masumi'sSword, an awesome author! You should go read that! Well, visit my profile and see my favorites. Masumi'sSword is also known as RukiLex. It's a vampire-fic, with IchiRuki and HitsuKarin. Lex (Masumi'sSword) is such a fast updater! I wait for less than a day for another update of her fanfic!**

**Note that some characters of the aforementioned states are not ENTIRELY true. Please keep reading to find the mysteries, like Shiba Kaien's responsibility of the slaughter of Ukitake Jushiro, and Rukia's adoption to the Kuchiki family.**

**Please enjoy the ride. =D**

_**Equilibrium of Life**_

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

Chapter I: **Falter to Exist**

The background was covered in zilch.

All you can see was white. The pure, dirt-less color – white. The color of the element – snow. The graveyard was covered in snow, cooling the atmosphere, making the milieu more frightening and mysterious. Drizzles of snowflakes fell, dancing as they drop to the ground covered in soft, cold snow.

"Show yourself," spoke a girl. She was petite, wearing a long thick brown coat the covered most of her body, which was supported by a pair of dark, furry boots. She wore a lacy dirty-brown hat, large enough to hide her raven hair.

She waited as patiently as she could, taming her irritation. When she heard no reply, her hand absentmindedly played with the rose hilt of her sword. "Once more, I ask you, werewolf," She slowly wrapped her black-gloved hand around the hilt.

"**Show yourself**," Her voice that was past smoothly velvet was now cold and deadly. She sensed the presence of the creature behind her, the energy flowing was powerful and wild yet it came to her, calm and controlled.

"Please, Madame Guardian," The werewolf had transformed into a human, surprisingly his voice smoother than a females, yet in a manly way. "I wish no harm."

"Is that true, Kaien-dono?" The female turned to face Kaien Shiba, her former mentor and best friend. She asked with so much emotion – she could not bear knowing the truth that her sensei was a creature who ate the heart and organs of living humans. "Is it?"

Kaien did not let the tears that stung his dark orbs to run. He wanted to show that he was okay, that he was still the Kaien that his student knew, that he was, if possibly believable, still...human. "Of course, Kuchiki,"

He faked his grin, hoping to cheer her up, "Even though I am not anymore human...I am still...Kaien." He walked closer to the petite girl, slowly and carefully, not wanting to outrage her.

"Kuchiki Rukia," He called, stopping in front of her, his expression relaxed and fearless as possible, although he knew that Rukia might go on a rampage because of his close inhuman presence. "A girl born as a Guardian of the famous Kuchiki family, here before me, her eyes pleading," Kaien said, slowly lifting his hand to pat Rukia's head.

"I am very lucky...to have you as my student." Kaien smiled, finally letting go of his hold in watering eyes. He let a tear slid from his right eye, down to his handsome face.

"You are not human anymore," Rukia stated, her grip on her sword tightening, almost making her knuckles bleed beneath her black gloves. "Yes, perhaps not," Kaien agreed, pulling Rukia closer to him. "I..."

"You _must_, indeed...eliminate me once and for all," Kaien embraced Rukia tightly, as he knew that this was his last chance of doing it. "For I have committed an awful sin that werewolves were forbidden to do in the out."

Kaien thought about it for a moment. The government had decided to give some advantages to the Transformed of the former members of the Guardian's Association. He, being one and a superior of the organization, had been given the advantage, yet his werewolf persona that hungered for blood and flesh had let him out to lose control, to commit a priceless sin.

He had murdered his own senior, Ukitake Jushiro, on a rainy night. He had not been conscious that night, but he was dreaming of the happening. He had witnessed it with his own eyes, in a dream. He saw his werewolf form bite through Ukitake's flesh, slurping the electrifying warmth that his blood gave through, and the delicious bitter flesh that his organs possessed.

He didn't want to remember it. He forced himself to forget the memory. "Rukia, it is your duty as a Guardian to punish me. Please," He begged, gesturing Rukia to her sword, "...Kill me now."

Rukia's eyes widened, stunned as his sudden desire. She thought that his werewolf conscience would awaken and she would have no problem or hesitance to slaughter him. But...the thought of her killing him _now_, was...unforgivable to her. She could not kill her own mentor! He was not only her mentor, but her brother, her best friend, and possibly even her... her...

"Please, before I even turn into my horrible man-eating self...Kill me. Before I can even hurt you!" Kaien cried, grasping on Rukia's small hand placed on her weapon, then guided her hand to unsheathe her sword.

"Rukia, with one stroke of this to my heart, I will vanish, not to ever harm a human again."

Rukia found herself obeying, and she struggled to restrain her arm from moving. Nevertheless, her arm continued to move upwards, preparing to strike Kaien. "No..." Rukia cried silently, hoping this was all a dream. "No...!" Her arms stopped, the sharp point of her sword pricking Kaien's chest.

"NO!" Kaien guided her hand. The sharp weapon stroke through his flesh, streaks of burgundy-colored fluid coming out of the large, fatal wound.

"Please, Kaien-dono," Rukia begged, Kaien's almost lifeless form weighing her down. "Don't--"

"It is alright, Kuchiki," Kaien calmed, bringing his hand up to bring Rukia closer to him. "Thank you. I...my spirit...will be able to rest." He closed his eyes, letting his head rest on Rukia's shoulder. Her knees gave in, plopping down on the blood-covered snow. "You...thanked me..."

Rukia carefully, and slowly removed her sword out of Kaien's chest. The tip of the sword covered in Kaien's blood – it frightened her to know that she had killed him. "You should not have done that, sir," She sheathed her sword and stood up. She paused when she decided to leave, but had chosen to think for a while. Any Guardian won't leave a former comrade's body on the battlefield, but she wanted no more of the sight of Kaien.

"Perhaps, I did kill you, but...I am the one to hear your last words," She breathed, fog of chilly winter air coming out of her mouth as it opened. "Your siblings should at least see you before you actually go."

Rukia lowered herself, sliding Kaien's dull corpse onto her shoulders. _'I desire the forgiveness of your family, Kaien-dono, but...'_ She huffed, finally on a standing position.

_'Will they be able to?'_ She walked away from the graveyard, directing to the Shiba home.

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

Rukia arrived in front of the Shiba house, Kaien's body still on her shoulders. A boy ran out of the copper front door, which was partially opened. "O-nii-chan! O-nii...chan..." The smiling boy's expression turned to shock. Here, a woman in front of him, carrying the lifeless carcass of his dear brother, covered in blood. He, a minor to never had seen such a bloody arrival. "N-nii..."

"Sorry, Ganju-kun," Rukia whispered, instantly dropping the body of her mentor. "I..."

"Nii-chan!!!" He ran towards Kaien's body, sobbing insanely.

Rukia did not want to see Kaien's young brother like this. She chose to leave, and never show her existence to Kaien's family again. "Miyako-dono," She called, disappearing to thin air. She remembered the beautiful and kind wife of Kaien. Miyako had always been her role-model, and she wanted to be exactly, or to surpass, Miyako's limits.

"Forgive me," Tears slid out of her eyes, guilt and shame taking over. She had killed him. It was her duty, she admitted, but it was different. He was no ordinary man. _He_ was a close friend, almost family and Rukia had loved him so much...she had killed him. If Miyako was still alive, what would she do? Rukia's thought was, Miyako was indeed to punish her, and she having the right to do it, Rukia told herself that she did not need to falter or hesitate to Miyako-dono's punishment. "I beg of you."

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

Balance of all who exist – their maintenance. It is the Guardian's duty. Guardians...they are humans who's duty in life is to maintain the existence of all their kinds.

The human government and the executives of the creatures' kingdoms and tribes had ritualized a peace treaty for all living things. This, being a traumatic effect of the past few wars, had been considered by many beings. Guardians are to control or 'tame' other man-eating creatures – vampires, werewolves and others – to maintain the peace.

Although, some still argue about the fact that their food are getting extinct, the prey being summoned by their rituals or animals, this pointing out to the vampires and werewolves. Most of them agree, but still a few escape their territories to hunt for human flesh.

Guardians are sometimes bitten and are cycled to "Rebirth". Their human bodies die, and they get reincarnated and are called the "Transformed". They are Rebirth-ed either to a werewolf, a goblin, a witch/warlock, or a vampire. Either the creature had cast a spell on them, or they had transferred some of their DNA to the human.

As for those matters, the government had declared many laws against the wrong doings of the blood-thirsty creatures, and when disobeyed, they are given a fatal punishment.

Many lives were sacrificed, and the humans fearing to lose more decided to end the war. They had created several organizations for Guardians, the first one being "Senior Council of Supremacy" and the most sacred and popular, "Immaculate Concepcion Guardian's Association" where most Guardians from the new generation are formed. The established main government for all creatures is the "Maria Corazon of Chaste Democracy", having several leaders to avoid the argument of superiority.

Many of the new generation had become pacifists, resulting in building a school for all beings. The only school that was a home for all creatures was formed by surviving people from the past wars. The school was "Lady of Mercy Caroline Academy". The name came from the legendary Goddess of Mercy, called "Caroline" by English and Britannia adapters.

All species had been offering their peace through sacrifice and clan treasure, which the other races accepted and gave their own. Life had never been the same since the day the "Battle of Life" had occurred.

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

Life.

Death.

The battle of existence.

Who is the top...?

Who is the ruler of Earth...?

...Entrusted by God himself.

**--Fin--**

**Hope you liked the first chapter! Will update more!  
R8R. Favorite. Alert.  
_Re-read, Checked, Edited by: _**_my mom and yours truly  
_**See ya!**

**~Requimen1997**


	2. II: A Night

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach.**

**RQ/N:**Be alert for rape, violence, gore and many other mature content. Though you'll have to wait gazillions of light years before that, just warning you. Horror later, be careful, you might cry. Really.

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

_**Equilibrium of Life  
**__– "The __**guilty**__ one is not he who commits the sin, but the one who causes __**darkness**__." – (Victor Hugo)_

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

Chapter II: **A Night**

Rukia dashed through the woods, not minding the leaves that struck her clothing. It delivered cuts and small wounds on her face. She jumped through the treetops, swinging. She performed a perfect somersault and landed on the ground gracefully. Rukia was in front of the gate of the Kuchiki Manor.

She stared, wondering if Byakuya would still be able to accept her after what she'd done.

After all, Kaien wasn't just Rukia's mentor, or her best friend, but he was the Kuchiki clan's most loyal ally. He had done many to the Kuchiki, not just high authority or service, but change and bond as well. He taught many things to the young Kuchikis and had proven justice and balance among people and them that made the elders change their perspectives on lower houses. Kaien was indeed a wonderful example and a hero to the Shiba clan, even though he had let himself get bitten by a werewolf.

"_He got bitten,"_ Rukia corrected, knowing of full capacity that Kaien was innocent that time. Rukia believed that he did not kill Ukitake, and that he was not dead _...nor alive,_ and she had wished that Ukitake was just hidden in an unknown place where he was with Kaien.

"Am I just forcing myself to believe?" She asked herself. Rukia continued to gaze at the large gate; it was bordered with a rich red color, toned with carnation and dandelion. The whole surface made it look like wood, but it was actually smooth, despite its appearance and age. "No. Kaien...would never do that."

She walked towards the gate, grazing her fingers on the delicate wood. She felt heat blaze through her finger like fire. Rukia turned her hand to her. "Blood," She growled, dropping her hand as though life in it disappeared. "...blood of a murderer."

Rukia appeared facing the opposite direction of the gate, a few feet far, fast in a heartbeat. Wind blew, rustling the leaves of trees and bushes around her. It cooled Rukia's cheeks, them burning in guilt and anger. She spread her arms wide, breathing deeply. She jumped high, backwards, landing on the top of the gate like a leaf. She stared high, and she could see the Shiba clan's tower. "Ganju..."

An image of the little boy appeared in Rukia's mind. He was too innocent, to naïve, too young to have caught the sight of his brother – covered in crimson blood, thick liquid bathing his corpse.

"Might as well get some sleep," Rukia sighed, jumping once again and landing gracefully on the ground. She heard a grunt.

"Kuchiki-dono?" The guard walked toward her. "Are you alright? You look like you've battled a monster...have you, Lady Kuchiki?"

Rukia shifted her gaze on the guard. "I am fine. Please, head back to the quarters. It is not your shift this night, am I correct?" Rukia resisted the urge to let her voice crack. She needed to go back to her room – she didn't want to cry in front of him.

"I will be going, Lady Kuchiki. Please get some sleep..." He bowed. Rukia acknowledged his concern, and replied, hiding her gratitude. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Lady Kuchiki."

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

Rukia slipped out of her shoes and went to her room soundlessly. _"Byakuya-nii-sama must be asleep by now,"_ She told herself.

Rukia slipped out of her garments, ready to take some refreshing. She opened the bathroom door, turning on the water. Rukia waited for the tub to be full. She breathed in deeply, clearing any thoughts related to Kaien. She would have to relax, and she'll think about it later or tomorrow morning.

The tub was full with water. Rukia brought her hand near the water, letting it sting a little. She winced, although she dipped her hand deeper into the water. She inhaled deeply, and released an immediate exhale.

Rukia lifted her foot slowly, and dipped it into the water. Rukia winced again, but this time less obvious. She breathed, and let her foot lifelessly sink into the water, as if drowning. Her body followed – it sank, knees first, hips, waist and once she lay down, the water moved about around her neck.

She allowed her body to relax, savoring the warm transparent liquid bathing her skin. Rukia began to recall things that happened this day.

"I'll face it whenever I am ready," She told herself, washing away temporarily the guilt that consumed her awhile ago.

Kaien Shiba, an ally and friend to the Kuchiki clan, as well as a great teacher and a promising warrior. Always on his words, never uncaring. His humanity was eaten when he got bitten by a werewolf, during a night in attempt to rescue his wife from an accident. Rukia was surprised she kept dwelling and mourning over Kaien's death, and not or more so on Ukitake's. Ukitake was, too, a well-known personality, an important guardian in the Senior Council of Supremacy. She remembered Kaien's words:

"_I wish no harm."_

She remembered that she replied him with, _"Is it true?"_. For in that state, did she believe that Ukitake was dead?

"I was weak and stupid at the time," She growled. Rukia slammed her fist into the water, splashing hot liquid on her face, stinging her.

Perhaps, she was mourning over Kaien for she felt guilty – she was the one responsible for Kaien's death, she thought.

"I wonder..." She traced a vague symbol on the water, lightness creeping to her. "What will happen...?"

Black. Pitch-black consumed the background, she lay asleep.

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

"_Rukia..."_

_She opened her eyes. "Where...?" She stood up; the wind blew. The scent of daffodil puffs, newly-showered forests and rivers filled Rukia. She breathed deeply, feeling the gentle breeze caress her face._

"_Where am I?" She sighed. She looked around. It was a familiar environment – a milieu she enjoyed at, being with a person she always enjoyed with. She saw a well. It was stone, dirty white stone, and was covered in dust and cracks._

_She gasped, "It couldn't be..." Her lips twitched a smile, and she grinned wildly. "That well...!"_

_She ran towards the well, stumbling like a newborn child. She grazed her palm on the rough texture of the stone, carving something vague and random with her nails. She let her eyes stare at the well for a moment, enjoying the old remembrance's presence. She scanned for something, a symbol or characters etched somewhere._

"_It must be this," She exhaled, her eyes still skimming the body of the well. "This well is where I first met him." After searching for a thing unclear to her, she found it. It was a symbol, much like an intersection of a cross and a vampire's birthmark. It had several curves and thorn-like shapes, and two tear-shaped symbols on either side of the main picture. It was vague, being old and all, so she swept off the dust and grime that would prevent her from enjoying her memory._

_She stood up, gathering herself. She moved her head to see the core of the well. It was deep, pure blackness she could see, she remembered when she was young she always threw a coin in that deep and narrow darkness, believing that all her dead loved ones would be revived._

"_Kuchiki!" She was stunned at the tone of the voice. Smooth, fatherly, yet rash and childish. "K-Ka-"_

"_Kuchiki! Yoohoo!! KUCHIKI!!! Are you deaf, now, Kuchiki-chan?!"_

_She quickly faced behind her. A few feet away from her, stood, Kaien Shiba. "Ka-Kaien-dono!"_

"_Hmm? Come 'ere, you!" She ran, heading to him like a child greeting her father from work. "Kaien-dono...You're alive!"_

"_Of course I'm alive. Told ya it wasn't your fault, kiddo," He ran his fingers through her dark hair. She cried, tears of joy. Suddenly..._

"_Rukia! Rukia!" Kaien sang awkwardly. "Rukia! Ruki..a...Rukia...You..." His voice weakened – unlike earlier, his voice full of youth and energy and warmth, now weak, inaudible and dying. She looked up._

"_Kaien!" She screamed, the bloody body of her mentor towering over her. "You...murdered me...?"_

_She gasped at his words. Was this... "NO! I didn't! I couldn't kill you! That night...you..."_

"_Oh. So you're blaming it all on me, then? You're telling me that I forced you to kill me, eh? I wanted peace, but you're selfishness of enjoying my presence is driving me crazy! What am I, a toy? It's all like that, right?!" Kaien growled, his face full of anger and hatred, not once she had seen. She had seen this face, only once in her life, when Miyako died. Tears trailed out of her violet eyes, pure fear and shock written all over her face._

"_I...didn't!"_

"_You...murderer!" Kaien screeched, blood from his large wound running out. "Murderer!"_

"_NO!" She screamed. She stumbled backwards, and she felt something hard and cold against her back. It was the well. She stood up quickly, her eyes on the well. "I..."_

_A hand crawled on the edge of the well. It was pale, nails long; the structures of the bones could be seen, as if a skeleton's. A voice, witch-like; that of a wicked mistress, scornful and ear-banging. "You..."_

_She gasped. It was her – Miyako Shiba, wife of Kaien Shiba. "You bitch..."_

"_What...?" Miyako would never dare say a curse, or something rude or maybe even something hurtful, especially those close to her. Miyako crawled, her other hand showing, her long dark hair falling over her face, revealing a bloodshot eye._

"_You killed him. You stole him away from me...bitch!"_

_She opened her eyes, only to find herself in a large tub of..._

_**Blood.**_

"_AAAH!!!"_

Rukia rose, the water splashing all over. She was in the place she was awhile ago – in a tub full of warm water, in the bathroom.

Rukia stared at the clear water. It was covered in red, bloody red, as she'd seen it. She shook her head, disagreeing at the thought. "It was just a nightmare. Probably staying in the bath for too long."

She pulled her white bathrobe after getting out of the tub. Rukia rushed to her room, locking the door. She noticed that it was morning. _I fell asleep in the bath tub. Ridiculous..._She rummaged through her closet, finding some proper clothes to wear. It's winter, she thought. She picked out the correct clothing which would make her comfortable in the weather. Two sharp knocks emerged from out the door.

"Yes?"

"Rukia." A deep, baritone voice. _Nii-sama..._She thought. "Yes, Byakuya-nii-sama?"

"Are you getting dressed?" He asked. "Yes," Rukia nodded, and felt stupid because Byakuya couldn't see that.

"Hurry, now, a new mission is here for you and Abarai." A small envelope slipped through under the door, in a pale peach-tan color. "A new mission..." Rukia echoed Byakuya's words.

"Thank you," She picked up the envelope, laying it on the bed. "Aa."

Rukia dressed rapidly, as what Byakuya had ordered her to do. She picked up the envelope and tore it open in the edge. "Dear Abarai and Kuchiki-san..."

_Happy Winter Hunting to you both. We are requesting you two a mission: Find and investigate **Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez**. All we know is that he is a former Guardian; we do not know if he is a Transformed or what. Be extremely careful – from our data, he possess inhuman abilities, far more before he became a Guardian._

_This is the Balance sheet of your mission:_

**Target : **JAEGERJAQUEZ, Grimmjow  
**Mission : **Investigation, Location, possible elimination if needed  
**Money : **540 Bronze, 65 silver, 80 platinum for TRIP, HOTEL STAY and MEDICAL PURPOSES

**Salary : **2 Gold and 70 silver

_Thank you, and wish you luck and safety!_

_Best Wishes,  
Chief and Junior of Squad 10, **Hitsugaya Toshirou **and **Matsumoto Rangiku**_

"Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez," She echoed, somehow remembering the name. "I wonder..."

**--xXx-oOo-xXx--**

Renji stretched, his sitting form on the bench was numbing.

As usual, his red, glossy hair was tied to a ponytail. He was wearing a sweater with red and black stripes. He wore his usual jeans, the part of the knee joint scratched, revealing some part of his skin. He wore dark blue boots, not too high, but as they were, boots.

"Renji," He heard a voice call from behind him. "Rukia!" Renji grinned at Rukia's outfit.

She was wearing a red bonnet and baby pink sweater; a Chappy-designed skirt and; knee high baby blue, fluffy boots. "You look like you're going to a costume party."

She stuck a tongue at him. "Well? What are we waiting for? Christmas?"

Renji looked at her, wholly, again. "It depends, because of that outfit of yours."

Rukia gave him a kick in the shin. "Uh...Where exactly are we going?"

"An abandoned place called 'Las Noches'. We're going to start there, since I heard that Grimmjow what's-his-name moved there after resigning."

Rukia repeated, "Las Noches?"

"Yup. The city from the South Border there, the one we used to hang out." Renji glared at the snow, as if recalling a bad memory. He shook his head, "Let's go."

**--Fin--**

**RQ:** horror. GEEZ. Then what? Fluff?  
**R&R. Favorite. Alert.  
Requimen1997**


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